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STRUGGLES-2-STRENGTHS
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- Récits d'expériences vécues et de résilience avec le trouble bipolaire -
*Ce blogue reflète mon expérience personnelle et ne constitue en aucun cas un avis médical ou thérapeutique.
Newly diagnosed...now what?
I remember how it was. I had just been diagnosed and a weight had been lifted from my whole being. Though once that settled, I wondered, now what? I really didn't know what was next. I had been told I lived with bipolar disorder 2, that we should look at medication to help mitigate/control the hypomania, adding three different types of medication to my already medicated regime, and... I was kind of clueless. I had no idea what the future would be. The fear took hold and I ju
Joëlle P
il y a 20 heures3 min de lecture
Bipolar and burnout
I’m back. After taking a month away to recalibrate from burnout, I started writing a few paragraphs of this blog and realized it felt empty, like what I started writing was just more of the same as last time: “I burned out, I paused, I'm back. It’s ok, I live with bipolar, but here’s how I got through it, etc” Wash, rinse, repeat. But that's not what I'm trying to get at. I'm realizing that I want to go a little bit deeper and talk about what's behind the burnout and how it
Joëlle P
1 juin3 min de lecture
The Authentic Lens
My recent time out in nature on my yearly solo trip to T’szil mountain (commonly known as Mt. Currie) brought back lots of memories and reflections on my past. The photographer in me always takes my camera with me. No, not the one on my phone – my digital SLR that allows me to zoom in completely in the viewfinder and lose myself in the moment. And that camera lens takes me into beautiful worlds. Reflecting on what I thought my life would be many years ago, versus what it ac
Joëlle P
1 juin3 min de lecture
the health of the mind
Lately, I've been hearing the words "mental health" everywhere in the news. It seems as though those two words stitched together create tension for many people. They are often associated with diagnosed mental health conditions or “mental illnesses”, distressing experiences, and inpatient psychiatric voluntary or involuntary care. I’m curious though. When did talking about mental health start meaning only “mental illness” or “psychiatric disorder”? Mental health, at its core
Joëlle P
14 mars2 min de lecture
the courage to change the things I can
It is such an amazing experience to hold space for another on their healing journey, while reflecting on how my own can guide them. Another coaching session with a client today reminded me that subtle action amidst the ocean of things we cannot change is often more powerful than we think. As I slowly grow in my new consulting business, I am in awe of the progress I’ve made in learning to live well with a serious mood disorder. I now have a deep appreciation of the richness th
Joëlle P
20 févr.2 min de lecture
Integrity of action
It’s been a few weeks with my head deep in computer-land, focusing on designing my new business website. As I come up for air, I’ve noticed the theme throughout this process has been one of integrity. Without knowing, this notion of transparent honesty has popped up in all spheres of my life, starting with my messaging on joelleperras.com . I took on the challenge of building my own site and quickly woke to the reality that these web pages would carry my values and beliefs i
Joëlle P
29 janv.2 min de lecture
My word of the year
I love this time of year. I‘ve just completed my yearly ritual of beginning January: I spend a few days in retreat reviewing the previous year‘s successes, struggles and challenges. Then I meditate on what my soul desires for the year ahead, establishing my goals and dreams. And finish it off with my “word of the year” that will guide me through the fog on difficult days. This ritual has become a pillar in my mental health practice and management of Bipolar Disorder; it allow
Joëlle P
4 janv.2 min de lecture
Dedicated to the loved ones of folks with Bipolar Disorder
I’ve spent most of my time sharing my lived-experience with Bipolar Disorder in this blog with the hope of helping others living with a similar condition feel less alone. Unknowingly, my raw stories have also impacted those who support loved ones who live with Bipolar, opening a door to better understanding dysregulated behavior that can feel so confusing to them. An important recent conversation with a loved-one offered me an important perspective shift; reminding me that my
Joëlle P
5 déc. 20252 min de lecture
A first for everything
Have you ever felt like you were stepping into the role you were made for? This is something I am feeling for the first time in my life. It has come with years of self-doubt, overcoming challenges and transforming my past into richness for the present. This might sound a bit like destiny-speak, as if there is only one thing meant for me, or perhaps fate made it happen. I don’t actually believe there is only one role for me in this lifetime, though I am currently experiencing
Joëlle P
28 nov. 20252 min de lecture
Digital Detox: the phone is meant for talking
November 7th, 2025 It’s that time again. Feeling overstimulated by the world of cell phones + computer screens, my physical + mental fatigue have taken over, and my focus has left the building. It’s time to step back from the incessant speed of life. Lucky enough, I caught this before spiraling out into a bipolar episode. I have felt it brewing these past weeks, with emotional dysregulation, depressive thoughts and the dance of hypomanic bursts. I’m stepping away for a bit to
Joëlle P
7 nov. 20252 min de lecture
The “WHY” can carry me through
October 17th, 2025 Another week of moving forward with my new consulting business- and another experience of depression creeping up after the hypomania of the prior week. Bipolar Disorder never sleeps, so relying on my mental health routine is essential to keep my dream business alive. Total transparency: I don’t have this thing figured out (my business, or bipolar). Total truth: I can get through any bipolar episode or instability with patience and care. Total amazement: I k
Joëlle P
17 oct. 20252 min de lecture
Entrepreneur of the soul
August 1st, 2025 14 years ago on this day, August 1st, 2011, I chose to transform my suffering into an asset. My alcoholism was destroying my soul and all I could see was a pain response on repeat: terrified by my undiagnosed bipolar episodes, self-medicating by picking up a drink to numb it away, and soothing the reactivity. But on that day I knew I had to stop or I would probably die. I wanted a change. 14 years later, I am alive, sober, thriving with bipolar disorder and m
Joëlle P
1 août 20252 min de lecture
20 years ago
I was reminded this week of a pivotal experience in my development as an educator, which is also related to my recovery with bipolar disorder. I started my educator career at a small therapeutic boarding school in New Hampshire called Oliverian School. I saw one of the school’s posts on social media this week about celebrating pride month, and it brought me back 20 years… In 2005, I volunteered at Oliverian in hopes of being offered a job, and I was. I had told the headmaster
Joëlle P
5 juin 20253 min de lecture
World Bipolar Day 2025
IT’S WORLD BIPOLAR DAY!/ La JOURNÉE MONDIALE DES TROUBLES BIPOLAIRES! What are the biggest strengths you’ve developed from living with Bipolar? Our struggles are our strengths… I CELEBRATE YOU TODAY (English starts at 3:18 min!) STRUGGLES-2-STRENGTHS BLOG aims to connect with those experiencing Bipolar Disorder (BD) like myself, as well as those who support them, by sharing reflections on personal experiences rather than clinical perspectives. Please share with others and don
Joëlle P
30 mars 20251 min de lecture
Optimism: Thinking outside the rut
March 7th, 2025 It is true that where our focus goes, energy will flow. Whatever I fill my mind with (or whatever thoughts I let my mind obsess about) is what I will feel and manifest. So knowing that, I want to focus on optimism: a hopeful and positive attitude toward my future. This practice is one of my key tools to self-manage my bipolar mood swings and the distorted thoughts that come along with it. To be honest, having an optimistic attitude toward life is not something
Joëlle P
7 mars 20253 min de lecture
Seeking joy
I've been thinking a lot about joy lately, what it means to me, what it looks and feels like, and more importantly what place I give it in my life. I spent most of my life until my mid-30s trying to control the outcome of things because I was in such fear of the unknown, especially because of living with an undiagnosed bipolar mood disorder. This led me to fearing joy because I associated this feeling of bliss with uncontrollable impulsivity related to hypomania. This hypoman
Joëlle P
23 nov. 20243 min de lecture
Lost and found
I’ve been struggling finding a way to write about what I’ve been experiencing these past weeks. As I navigate grief and loss, I’ve been a bit at a loss for words. I’ve mentioned before that one of the tells of my growth and healing isn’t whether I still feel the same difficult emotions, but rather the behaviors I choose to have around them. One of those signs of healing is that this recent unexpected transition in my life has not triggered a bipolar episode for me. Instead of
Joëlle P
27 sept. 20242 min de lecture
I am
I am everything I believe about myself. So I better believe something good… because if I don’t, I will manifest it to happen anyway. I started experiencing severe mood shifts at the tender age of 12 years old. I remember hearing my dad talk about how I could make myself feel good or bad with my thoughts, which would then become my beliefs. I thought it was too easy… How could the simple change in my thoughts guide such a radical experience in my emotions and how I perceive th
Joëlle P
30 août 20242 min de lecture
Happy lucky 13
(*Written yesterday on August 1st, 2024) Thirteen years ago I made adecision that turned everything around: I chose to stop numbing myself by way of alcohol and drugs so that I could live. So that I could take care of my serious mental health condition I had just been diagnosed with three months earlier. Bipolar Disorder II. Today I’m celebrating. I’m exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I love: I am sitting in my camp chair at one of my favorite campsites at Golden
Joëlle P
2 août 20242 min de lecture
Financial literacy and bipolar
Talking about finances and mental health can bring up many conflicting emotions and beliefs. I think I’m cracking open Pandora’s box with this one and it’s a good thing. I was taught by different sources that openly addressing money and personal finances is a big no-no. Even more so, admitting to having financial difficulties can often be a source of shame that consequently encourages people to stay silent about their financial hardships. It’s time that changed. According to
Joëlle P
14 juin 20243 min de lecture
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